lI find it fitting that Neurodiversity Celebration Week coincides with the Spring Equinox and planned publishing date of this month’s newsletter; for the last couple of years, I’ve been on a journey to learn more about how my brain works. It’s been quite the expedition, and I’m ready to share what I’ve learned.
What I’ve discovered, both to my relief and my grief, is that I’ve been criticized my whole life for “personality flaws” that were in fact neurodivergent traits over which I had no control. I’ve reviewed a whole lifetime of trying to fit into a neurotypical world, like a round peg in a square hole. My “giftedness” has allowed me to compensate, and give the appearance of a cube, while my autism and ADHD kept me from really fitting in.
Since scaling up my farm and becoming more a part of the agricultural community, I have felt surrounded by “my people.” A feeling of being safe to be myself and of being understood pervades among other people who work the land. I became curious about why that is, and delved into research about neurodiversity in agriculture.
What I learned is that, indeed, there is a much higher incidence of neurodiversity among farmers than the general population. The DRD4 “ADHD gene” may appear as much as twice as often in farmers vs. non-farmers. A survey of over a thousand British farmers revealed that 60% were diagnosed or suspected they were neurodivergent. More than 80% of respondents to the survey said that their neurodivergent condition affected their mental health. Even so, a study from Northwestern University revealed that people with the ADHD gene are overall more healthy when they live an active and varied lifestyle, as opposed to people with the gene who are living a more sedentary and routine lifestyle. We were meant to live this way, but we need help doing it.
In my role as a land manager, the neurotypicals I come into contact with now arrive in the form of advisors and stewards in roles in local government, the NRCS, UCCE, and many, many agricultural non-profits. These are our allies, who help us keep our big ideas organized, funded, and publicized.
Other neurotypicals may not be as supportive as these agriculture-adjacent allies who have more regular contact with neurodivergents. In a study published in the journal Nature, scientists discovered that neurotypicals do judge and dismiss neurodivergents quickly as “weird” or worse. In fact, neurotypicals of all ages judge autistic peers as less likeable within the first 4 seconds.
I find that to be true from my first hand experience; neurotypicals have given feedback that I am rude, selfish, dramatic, blunt, and too intense. But when asked for a review from neurodivergents, I’m told they find me to be warm, genuine, fun, supportive, and trustworthy.
To provide a different perspective, I’ll share that I sometimes find neurotypicals to be boring, basic, one-dimensional, obtuse, and passionless. It can be difficult to trust them because their indirect communication style reads as deceptive. Similarly, when I mask (pretend to be “normal”), it reads as ungenuine, and my constant need for complexity and stimulation can be exhausting to neurotypicals.
But we need each other. The real work of running our towns and cities is boring, to many neurodivergents. Having observed a few city council meetings over the last few months, I can tell you that you won’t find many neurodivergents in elected office. They need to be likeable while doing boring work. Our local elected leaders sit through day long meetings under fluorescent lights while trying to stay alert enough to do right by their constituents. God bless them, because I couldn’t do it.
I no longer see neurodivergence as a deficit, but I do see how different types of brains benefit each other. Many neurodivergents have trouble with executive function, organization, communication and self-care and need support from others with those skills. Neurotypicals benefit from the creative thinking and passion for innovation that neurodivergents have (many of civilization’s most influential inventors and artists have been neurodivergent). But bringing people together to fulfill a complicated vision is something that neurotypicals excel at.
We need all types of people, and different ways of thinking, to build our communities, and I think it’s important to remember that at a time when politics are especially divisive.
Studies show that liberalism is associated with changes in a part of the brain associated with social deficits and autism, called the anterior cingulate cortex. Conservativism is associated with a different part of the brain entirely: the right amygdala. This tiny cluster of neurons is responsible for the emotions associated with responding to a threat (fear and aggression), as well as social skills like reading facial expressions and modulating social behavior. Damage to this part of the brain is associated with acquired neurodivergence like PTSD and OCD.
Conservatives are literally wired to be suspicious, and while this may chafe many an innovator, it can be useful in tempering the impulsivity of the ADHD mind. Personally, I see liberals as leading us into our future, and conservatives as anchoring us firmly to our past. If we can celebrate our differences and work together, history could see so many more stable innovations.
In the spirit of honoring different modes of thinking, I wanted to share something here about mine:
Thinking in Systems
ADHD is novelty-seeking and autism is routine-seeking. My ADHD, in search of interesting challenges, determines The Plan; my autism, which thinks in patterns, is in charge of The System that achieves The Plan. Everything in the world is either part of The Plan, or not of interest to me.
Nothing can be done unless it’s done within The System. Want me to help out with laundry? No problem, I’ll take over the Laundry System and it will be my responsibility; you will no longer touch laundry. Oh, you just wanted me to help “as needed”? Sorry, I don’t know what that means. Did you want me to help out answering the phones when it gets busy? Totally fine! As long as it gets busy during the same time period every day. What’s that, you need me to do a thing just one time? No thank you, that is a recipe for failure. The first time I do anything will not be my best effort, and since I won’t be wildly successful at it, there’s no reward. I’ll do the thing every time from now on, or never.
Each piece of information, person, or object that hoves into my orbit is evaluated for its use to The Plan. If I’m talking to a new person, and I can’t determine within the first 60 seconds of the conversation how they relate to The Plan, I begin to lose interest. If they continue talking to me past two minutes, I’ll start to become annoyed by how long they are distracting me from The Plan. Past five minutes, I begin to feel a growing anger that I have been essentially abducted and forced to conduct non-plan-related business.
Social Communication
In any social interaction, there is a universe of unvoiced expectation and context. Small talk begins with open-ended questions such as, “how is your day going?”
To me that question feels like a school exam for which I have not prepared. In the past, I would attempt to answer that question by parroting answers I’ve heard others give, or by attempting to anticipate the desired response. It’s exhausting to do, and still not necessarily effective. Back and forth small talk feels like I’m on stage at a play but I haven’t been given a script. My counterpart knows their lines perfectly, but I have to guess the plot and try to fill in my part. [I see a brow crease of confusion forming and know I’ve made a misstep, but where?]
These days, I answer that question literally, with “fine,” (which is usually true, and therefore the factually correct response) and a subsequent period of silence that is undoubtedly awkward for the other person. For me, pretending to be neurotypical is not just awkward, but painful. Moreover, it’s not successful, because other people are correctly reading me as ungenuine. I’ve decided I’d rather be disliked for who I actually am, and unmasking (showing up as my true self) has led me to many new friends, and to support that I didn’t even know I needed.
Sources:
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/39083290/
Study exploring “Double Empathy Theory” with focus group of autistics
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5286449/
Study showing that neurotypicals prefer not to interact with autistics, across age groups and amounts of time. “Negative impressions” only applied to audio/visual and not transcribed words.
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1362361320919286
Exploring Double Empathy Theory. Since autistics are seen as deficient in communication, it would be expected that autistics communicating with each other is ineffective, but the opposite was discovered. Shows that neurotypicals communicate most easily with each other and vice versa.
Autism quote
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-08-02/temple-grandin-cows-eye-view-agriculture-film/11349668
https://www.fwi.co.uk/news/neurodiversity-in-farming-may-be-double-rate-of-general-public
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3092984/
Liberalism associated with increased gray matter content in the anterior cingulate cortex
https://www.nature.com/articles/s41593-019-0445-9#:~:
Anterior cingulate cortex underlies social deficits, associated with ASD
https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/body/24894-amygdala
The right amygdala
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK537102/
The right amygdala
https://www.thetreetop.com/aba-therapy/autistic-politicians
Autistics in elected office